


the reason i can't stop is because my feet hurt

by plumwins



Category: Haikyuu!!, Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: (an attempt will be made), (but!! with little to no angst!!), Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends, Buckle up kids we're in for a long ride, Canon Compliant, Career Ending Injuries, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Mentioned polyamory, Modeling, Multi, POV Multiple, Post-Canon, Queerplatonic Relationships, Rated M for language, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, bc they are all dirty dirty kids, but dirty, first gen captains going to the same uni, good kids, lots of allusions to sex, middle school issues, not as sad as it looks i promise, some fix-it, super minor kagepro crossover
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-01-05 06:43:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12184932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plumwins/pseuds/plumwins
Summary: [i've been chasing for so, so long]Oikawa Tooru refuses to come to his best friend’s volleyball game for the first time. Several blocks away in the Tokyo Metropolitan Stadium, Captain Kise Ryouta walks off a basketball court for the last time.They meet somewhere in between.





	1. the distance closes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [paged](https://archiveofourown.org/users/paged/gifts).



> title courtesy of "Little Cry of the Abyss" by sasakura.UK feat. Asako Toki
> 
> so!!!! this is a giftfic for my babe, my sun, my love<3 you're always there to talk about anything, and i appreciate you being there for me more than i can ever put into words. i'm so glad i know you. thank you for everything you've done for me (and siddie)<3<3<3
> 
> note: so i took the manager (kano shuuya) from the kagerou project, for which i still cry about. saddest shit i've ever seen to this very day
> 
> note: there will be some allusions to suicide/self harm. pretty minor for the most part, but i figured i'd put it out there.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #justiceforkise2k17 begins now.

Kise Ryouta was not a studious person.

He knew it, his family knew it, his classmates knew it, everyone knew it.

But what everyone else also knew, was that Kise was a people person, a sports person, a _talented_ person. He was well liked by people of all ages, and had the charism and shine to charm the most unlikely of people. He was attractive and carefree, and the ace of his nationally-ranked basketball team. Kise Ryouta was many things, but studious was not one of them.

Which was why Kise’s sudden desire to do well in school caught everyone off guard.

 

* * *

 

 

Kise is leading his team through their cooldown when Kasamatsu Yukio storms into the gym. It’s a month before the Winter Cup, which nearly coincides with the _senta shiken_ , the national exams. It’s scores are required in order to apply to college, which makes it’s timing very inconvenient for the Kaijou basketball team’s third years. Kasamatsu, who must be fully aware of this, drops down on the bench next to Coach, tipping his head at Kise and ignoring the inquisitive stares he gets from the underclassmen.

Kise unhurriedly runs through the rest of the cooldown, clearly not in a rush. Not recognizing Kasamatsu, most of the team is distracted as they clean up the gym. Kano abruptly slams down his clipboard next to Kasamatsu, who jumps.

“You’re Kasamatsu-san, right? Ryouta-kun’s old captain?” he asks, not bothering to keep down his voice. Half the team whips around to stare at the two, and Kise sighs. Shuuya refrains from snickering.

“Go clean up,” Kise grumbles, and shoos his blatantly eavesdropping team into the locker room. “You can listen to our wonderful, kind manager interrogate Kasamatsu another time.”

Shuuya unabashedly stares at Kasamatsu, the other scowling right back. He’s rather handsome, and his furrowed brows and deep frown make an imposing image. He’s not backing down, and doesn’t twitch at Kano’s stare, which he is aware is rather disconcerting. (Hibiya-kun hadn’t phrased it nearly as nicely, but no one ever took his words to heart. “Too sassy for a middle schooler shorter than Shuuya,” Kousuke had once muttered. Shuuya cheerfully upended a bottle of siracha in his orange juice in response.)

Shuuya would expect nothing less from the person who managed to turn Kise into a decent captain. He stares for at Kasamatsu little longer. Man, he might even be on Tsubomi-level of terrifying leader-ness if he kept it up. Shuuya tilts his head to the side, and turns to grin at Kise, who looks resigned to Shuuya’s personality. “You can use my office to talk,” he chirps brightly, bounding to his feet, and leaves the gym with a wave.

“See you tomorrow, Kanocchi,” Kise calls after him as Shuuya shuts the door behind himself. He has a lot of revision work to go through, and Tsubomi is probably struggling through her math assignment without him.

 

* * *

 

The next day, the same thing happens, except this time Kasamatsu brings a guest with him. Whatever Kise and Kasamatsu talked about yesterday must’ve be important, because Kise’s been tense all day. His teammates don’t seem to notice, and Shuuya doesn’t blame them. From one liar to another, Kise is _very_ good at pretending that nothing is wrong.

“Who’s this, Yukio-kun?” Shuuya asks, mentally cursing his height. He knows it’s not really something he can change, but he ignores it as he smiles at the two overly-tall brunettes sitting next to them. He cheers up a little at Kasamatsu’s obvious disgruntlement at Shuuya using his first name so casually.

“I’m Imayoshi Shouichi,” the bespectacled guest answers with some amusement, tilting his chin in a way that highlights their height difference. Shuuya quashes down the irritation and beams.

“You were Touou’s captain when Ryouta-kun was a first year,” he says instead, “the one that convinced Daiki-kun to join your team.”

“One of my proudest accomplishments, I must say,” Imayoshi replies modestly, “but it wasn’t as difficult as people make it out to be.”

Shuuya hums in agreement. “Did it have anything to do with large-breasted females?”

Imayoshi chuckles, and Kasamatsu snorts ungracefully. “Are his preferences that well known?”

“Something like that,” Shuuya says noncommittally. “He’s not a complicated person.” He catches Kise’s eye, and raises an eyebrow, pointedly glancing down at his ankle. Kise nods, and mouths _later_. Beside him, Kasamatsu and Imayoshi look between the two of them. Shuuya ignores it, and picks up his clipboard.

After practice, Kise disappears into Shuuya’s office with the former captains. Shuuya dismisses the team for the day, and slides the keys under the office door so Kise can lock up the gym. He catches something about average scores and acceptance rates, and leaves for home. Kise will tell him later, if Shuuya doesn’t manage to put together the pieces beforehand.

 

* * *

 

While it’s true that people were surprised by Kise’s sudden change in heart, his steady incline in academic performance wasn’t very attention grabbing, nor very interesting. Most of his ex-teammates dismissed it and moved on. (Kasamatsu, of course, was an exception. As was Momoi, who dropped by one day. She almost got into their practice, much to Kise and Shuuya’s chagrin. _It wouldn’t happen again._ )

Not to mention, Kaijou’s desperate bid for the Winter Cup finally succeeded; Shuuya had to pry the trophy out of Kise’s hands before he broke a handle. Kise’s experience had finally caught up with the Generation of Miracles- and Shuutoku gracefully surrendered the victory to Kaijou, satisfied with placing second in the Winter Cup and first in the Interhigh.

(Kise had cried into Shuuya’s shoulder when they won, so _relieved_ that they had managed to _win_. It would be the first time- and the last time.)

(Captain Takao Kazunari had hugged Kise after the game, congratulating him for a game well played. A few steps behind him, Shuutoku’s vice captain quietly told Kise that he was happy for him. The two told Kise to take it easy. So maybe the Generation of Miracles weren’t all as dense as Shuuya thought they were, or maybe Takao was just that influential.)

(Most of the Generation of Miracles didn’t know it, but Kise spent the next day in the hospital. And the rest of the school year shouting from the bench.)

But somehow, Ryouta’s acceptance into one of Japan’s top schools, Chuo University, came as a shock to everyone but his most devout fangirls, current teammates, three out-of-prefecture friends, manager (“And amazing best friend!” Kano protests), former captain, and a certain other former captain.

(“It obviously was a sports scholarship, big deal,” Aomine says at the next Generation of Miracles meeting. Ryouta just smiles vaguely, and doesn’t say a thing. Midorima rolls his eyes, but doesn’t say anything either. Akashi looks like he wants to speak, but doesn’t. Ryouta ignores it because there’s no point in elaborating for people who don’t even care enough to ask.)

(He scored in the 83rd percentile. His years of modeling work did the rest.)

 

* * *

 

Midori072: Are you occupied tomorrow evening?

#flawless: nope!! is it a lucky item?

#flawless: wait

#flawless: IS THIS A DATE

Midori072: Yes. I would like to treat you.

#flawless: did kisecchi put you up to this

#flawless: or is this about the bet we made the other day

Midori072: The Korean restaurant you like is having a special deal for couples, and you were also right.

Midori072: I thought Akashi would say something, but he did not.

#flawless: lol i can’t believe kisecchi was good enough to escape the Emperor™

#flawless: is it seriously that hard to believe that kise has good grades

Midori072: In their defense, Kise’s work ethic concerning his schoolwork was not very good during middle school.

#flawless: yeah but his grades weren’t /that/ bad, especially compared to aomine

#flawless: they keep forgetting that kisecchi isn’t an idiot in general

#flawless: how????? he’s works so hard to be as good as he is even though he’s literally good at everything

#flawless: what kind of dumbfuck friends are those

#flawless: except you and sacchan because you guys actually have fucking brains

#flawless: UNLIKE ALL OF YOUR OTHER OLD TEAMMATES

#flawless: ok i’m mad again i’m going to go fight tai-chan

Midori072: Be careful, just because the Winter Cup is over doesn’t mean that you are free to hurt yourself. The team still needs you.

#flawless: i gotchu babe <3

Midori072: <3

 

* * *

 

#flawless: i’m mad let’s go spar

challengeaccepted: i’ll be at the gym in 10

 

* * *

 

It didn’t take too long for Shuuya to figure out what Kise had planned. Kise may be frustratingly hard to read at times, but his motives are always pretty clear, even if his actions aren’t. Naturally, Shuuya follows him to Tokyo, because he’s the best source of drama around. And because Kise will run himself into the damn ground if someone doesn’t look out for him.

The irony of _Shuuya_ of all people looking after someone doesn’t escape him. He voices this thought to his siblings, who exchange glances in a way that makes him instantly suspicious.

“I mean, you kinda did,” Kousuke says slowly, carefully setting his tea down. Tsubomi averts her eyes and fiddles with the edge of her hoodie. There’s been a lot of tea in the apartment lately, courtesy of Ayano-nee-chan’s new health obsession. It’s getting a little out of hand, but no one is really doing anything about it. Shuuya is seriously considering burning nee-chan’s new recipe book, but that would make her cry, and then Tsubomi would kill him, if Shuuya’s guilt didn’t get to him first.

Shuuya blinks. “How?”

“Well…” Kousuke hesitated, fiddling with the handle of his teacup, “you watched out for us after onee-san...y’know…”

“Killed myself?” Ayano suddenly pipes in, dropping on the couch next him. Tsubomi almost elbows Kousuke, who spills his tea anyways.

Shuuya violently flinches, and blurts the first thing that comes to mind to try and cover it up. “Wait, I didn’t even have a job. How did I help?”

None of his siblings buy it. Surprisingly, Tsubomi’s the one who breaks the silence. “You didn’t help in the way Kousuke helped,” she says bluntly, “but you watched out for us. We didn’t realize it then, but you were watching out for that snake bastard the whole time.”

Oh. That. “Ahaha, that wasn’t really much,” Shuuya grins, leaning back and crossing his legs, “protecting our fearless leader and second in command was the least I could do.”

Tsubomi rolls her eyes and slaps the back of his head reflexively, Kousuke ducking out of the way. Shuuya whines, clutching the back of his head. You’d think he’d be used to Tsubomi’s violent ways by now, but no. Sadly, it was not to be.

“She’s trying to say thank you, you dumb shit,” Takane says, walking by the living room. “Just take it and stop talking around it.”

Holy shit, was _everyone_ in the apartment right now? Takane was here, which meant that there was a decent chance that the rest of the gang was here too- and Shuuya thought that he would’ve heard it there were five more people in the apartment besides the people who _actually lived there_. He raises an eyebrow at Kousuke, who shrugs. “There’s us four, and Shintarou-san, Takane-san, and Haruka-san.” Shuuya huffs, and leans further back on the couch. That makes more sense. Shintarou and Ayano were probably on a date, and then got dragged into one of Takane and Haruka’s not-dates. Figures.

“You’re changing the topic,” Ayano says sternly, pinning him with a look. Shuuya valiantly resists the urge to backtalk, and somehow succeeds.

“I accept your thanks,” Shuuya says magnanimously, planting his hands on his hips in the extremely limited amount of space he had, squished between Kousuke and Ayano.

“We’ll miss you, you know,” Kousuke says quietly, looking at Shuuya like he’s seeing right into him. He looks at him the way most people look at artwork- like every detail needs to be committed to memory. It used to freak out the other kids at the orphanage.

Ayano slings her arm over his shoulders like she did when she wanted to tell him a secret. (But not like the secret on the rooftop- that was _her_ secret. Then she fell, and it became _Shuuya’s_ secret. His and the snake bastard’s.)

Shuuya clenches his hand in his jacket, and lets go. “Of course you’ll miss me!” he says brightly, ignoring Kousuke’s gaze. “Who’ll be there to- hey!” Shuuya protests, struggling in Tsubomi’s arms as she picks him up. “Put me down!”

Instead, she nudges Ayano’s bedroom door open with her foot, and unceremoniously drops him on the bed before shoving him to make room. She crawls over him so her back is to the wall, and yanks him over so Kousuke and Ayano can clamber on the bed that was definitely not made for three teenagers and a girl in her early twenties.

Shuuya makes a few token complaints before settling into the comfortable warmth. Everyone’s nodding off when Ayano slurs “w’ll miss you,” and Shuuya flushes. He ducks his head down a little, and Tsubomi pokes at one of his red cheeks. Kousuke laughs softly, sleepy and satisfied, and the only thing Shuuya hears after that is gentle breathing.

 

* * *

 

 

Chuo’s got a nice campus, as expected from one of Japan’s top schools. There’s lots of trees, plenty of benches beneath the trees, and most importantly, there’s a lot of really attractive men. Hot _damn_. The girls aren’t bad looking either, but Shuuya doesn’t swing that way very often. Shuuya nudges Kise with his shoulder.

“Heads up,” he murmurs, tipping his head towards the group of boys congregating at the base of a particularly large tree. They’re volleyball players, from the looks of the ball that a well-built guy with _great_ thighs has tucked under his arm. There’s a guy with dark, messy that sticks up in just about every direction but down, and he’s taken by the obnoxiously tall blonde megane, by the looks of it. Oh- and by the buff guy with the striped black-and-gray hair, _and_ the guy who looks so beautiful that it’s kinda unreal. Shit. Not to mention stoic one with almost-green hair, who would probably look almost confused if he wasn’t so intimidating in both stature and hotness.

“I hate your kind,” Shuuya informs Kise, who looks over with a grin.

“Want me to introduce you?” he asks in response, changing route and heading over to the group. Shuuya almost splutters. How many people does Kise _know_?

“Kei-kun!” Kise calls, waving at them. The group turns around, and the megane, who must be Kei, looks like he’s barely refraining from rolling his eyes.

“Tsukki’s cousin!” the striped-hair guy yells, bouncing his way over to them.

“Bokuto!” Kise yells back, and the two attempt to pick up each other hugging at the same time, which only results in them stumbling all over the place. The messy-haired guy joins them, and everyone else exchanges resigned looks.

“Hello!” Shuuya says, “so you’re the cousin Ryouta-kun likes to talk about. Nice to meet you!”

“Does he,” Tsukishima says pleasantly. Kise emerges from the two other boys flushed and grinning.

“But you’re so _cute_ ,” Kise cooed, “how could I not tell them about my adorable little cousin?”

Tsukishima looks ready to set Kise on fire, but joke’s on him, because Kise’s mentioned him like, three times tops. Most of the group breaks into snickers, and the messy-haired guy slings an arm over Tsukishima’s shoulders and peers at Shuuya. “Who’re you?” he asks, not rudely.

“Kano Shuuya,” he replies, “and who are you?”

“I’m Kuroo Tetsurou! This is my boyfriend Tsukishima, but feel free to call him Tsukki-”

“Do not call me Tsukki,” Tsukishima says flatly.

“-that’s my other boyfriend, Bokuto-the-top-ace, and my _other_ boyfriend, Akaashi, or A Beautiful Angel From Above. The one with the volleyball is Sawamura, but we call him Thighs for short-”

“Stop introducing me like that,” Sawamura groans, looking up at the sky for guidance.

“-and that guy is Ushijima-the-other-top-ace.”

“Nice to meet you,” Ushijima says politely.

“I thought there was another one of you,” Tsukishima cuts in, “Hinata’s so-called 'Grand King'?”

The group falls silent. Bokuto’s grin droops, and Ushijima’s mildly confused impassive face becomes a little more confused. Kuroo looks at Akaashi, who shrugs.

“...Oikawa doesn’t play volleyball anymore,” Kuroo says finally. “His knee injury put him out of commission last year.” Shuuya grimaces, and Kise’s expression goes blank, and then rearranges itself into an appropriately sympathetic frown.

Tsukishima raises an eyebrow. “Kageyama doesn’t know about this,” he says without inflection.

“I think he does,” Sawamura refutes, thoughtful. “Considering who he’s dating, he would have found out at some point. And I don’t think he’d consider it to be something you guys would need to know either.”

“I suppose,” Tsukishima says slowly, turning the thought over in his head a few times, and seeming to come to a satisfactory conclusion. Shuuya and Kise stand there smiling, determinedly refusing to make things awkward.

“So!” Bokuto chirps abruptly, clapping his hands to dispel the tension, “do you two play volleyball?”

“Nope!” Shuuya says immediately, “but I was a manager for Kaijou’s basketball team! We won nationals last year!”

“Wow!” Bokuto beams, “That’s awesome! My volleyball team placed third last year, but this time we’ll definitely make it to the top!” He looks over at Kise. “Do you-”

“I’m not planning on doing any sports this year but I might become a manager again,” Shuuya interrupts cheerfully, “should I consider being a manager for a volleyball team?”

“Yes! You should become our manager, Kano-kun! It’s been so long since I’ve had a manager!” Bokuto says excitedly, jumping up and down a little, twisting to look at the others. “Guys! Let’s teach him about volleyball, I want to have a manager again!”

“Don’t be selfish, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi deadpans.

Attention successfully diverted, Shuuya nudges Kise in Tsukishima’s direction, and enthusiastically joins Bokuto and Akaashi’s discussion about the merits of being manager for the volleyball team, which devolves into a heated debate on whether it is healthy to eat four onigiri all at once (Shuuya, Bokuto, and Akaashi are all for it- Sawamura, Kuroo, Kise, and Ushijima are not).

They eventually have to part ways, but not without exchanging phone numbers. Evidently college will be more interesting than Shuuya thought.

Besides, it’s good to see that Kise’s making friends.

 

* * *

 

Purroo: dude this morning we met tsukki’s cousin again

Purroo: i think you would like him a lot tbh

Purroo: he’s a pretty cool guy

Purroo: he’s also a really pretty guy

Purroo: seriously if i wasn't extremely taken i would hop on that in .2 secs

Purroo: he brought a friend too, the friend was damn cute too. solid 9/10 but not my type

Purroo: i know you’re avoiding us bc of volleyball and all but we can all stay friends without trying to convince you to come back if that’s really what you want

Purroo: i’ll even make sure bokuto and ushijima don’t say anything dumb

Purroo: cmon oikawa you can’t avoid us forever, we live together

Toorunderstars: fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry guys, this is probably going to be the longest chapter in this fic (at least for a while). i'm really bad at writing consistently, and smaller chapters help me update faster!
> 
> clarification: when tsukki mentions "hinata's 'grand king'", i did not mean that hinata and oikawa were dating. i was just alluding to how hinata calls oikawa "grand king". sorry if this caused any confusion!


	2. squad up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there is some Serious Business going on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait??? i initially set the chapter-word-goal low bc i wanted to update often, but i am literally The Worst so here's the new chapter 20 years later. sorry my dudes

The bell over the door jingled as Ryouta pushed it open. It was much warmer inside than it was outside, and despite the fact that it was technically spring, Tokyo still had its cold snaps. Which was annoying, but at least he didn’t have to shave his legs all the time.  _ God _ Ryouta hated shaving his legs.

“Hey Kisecchi, over here!” Takao called from the back of the cafe, slouching in his worn armchair like he was trying to melt into it. “Hurry up and order, you’re late.” Ryouta pouted at Takao in response, and turned to the barista that was watching them almost curiously.

“Caramel latte and a custard pudding,” Ryouta said, and hoped that the barista wouldn’t recognize him despite having visited this cafe about ten times over the past month because this was the only cafe in Tokyo that sold red bean soup and coffee in the same place. Because  _ someone _ had to insist on red bean soup every time they met, and  _ someone _ had to be whipped enough to indulge Midorima’s whims every. Fucking. Time. And then the same someone would continue to come to the same exact cafe even when Midorima wasn’t there. In defense of the cafe, they did have good variety (and good red bean soup), otherwise Ryouta would’ve literally booted Takao into a different cafe ass-first. 

“Name?” the barista asked as he uncapped a marker with his teeth.

“Kano,” Ryouta responded, grabbing for the custard pudding and paying. He dropped the pudding in his bag for later, and headed over to Takao.

“Took you long enough,” Takao snorted, his legs now slung over the arm of his rickety armchair. 

“Shut up, the new intern almost ruined the lighting so we had to redo a few shots,” Ryouta grumbled, reaching over to take a sip of Himuro’s latte. Or at least, what Ryouta had thought was a latte. 

“What the fuck,” he said blankly, and took another sip just to be sure. “You’re breaking out the quadruple espresso  _ now _ ? How are you going to survive midterms if your caffeine tolerance is through the roof?”

Himuro shrugged, and took back his latte-espresso-thing. He drained a third of it in one draught, and calmly returned to his phone. 

“Same,” Kuroo muttered, and Terushima unceremoniously started whacking Ryouta on the leg with his book. 

“Get your soup, I want some,” he whined. Ryouta rolled his eyes and compiled because it was better than the alternative (more whining).

When Ryouta returned, Takao was sitting in his chair properly again, and Terushima had put his book down. Himuro’s phone was balanced precariously on top of his bag, and even the cafe seemed to have quieted down for them. 

Kuroo set his drink down. “Now,” he said, dark eyes solemn, “let’s talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please tell me if something does not make sense bc i'm so tired sorry


	3. the fearsome fivesome enters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tsukishima kei is #exposed

Tetsurou nearly jumped out of his damn skin when he finally noticed all five of the former Karasuno alums perching on the back of his couch. “Jesus fuck, don’t do that to me,” he wheezed, clutching his chest. He was obviously getting soft if a group as obnoxious and attention-drawing as Karasuno’s Fearsome Fivesome™ could get the jump on him this easily.

“Hello dear,” Kei cooed, as everyone burst out laughing because he was surrounded by assholes.

Tetsurou sighed heavily, before smiling up at Kei and kissing him on the cheek. “Good afternoon, Kei. Was there anything you guys needed?”

“Not really,” Kageyama shrugged, squishing himself next to Takao in the armchair that was hopefully a lot more sturdy than it looked. The rest of them filed their way into the circle of armchairs and couches, making themselves comfortable. Or in Kei’s case, _very_ comfortable.

“Kei,” Tetsurou gritted out, shifting uncomfortably as Kei perched on his lap, “you’re crushing my balls.”

Yamaguchi snickered, stealing a sip of Kageyama’s frappe, “Cut it out, Tsukki. We all know you have no ass to speak of.”

“And you couldn’t fit into that pair of jeans you liked. _I_ don’t have that problem,” Kei shot back.

“That’s because my ass was too great for those jeans,” Yamaguchi dismissed, “besides, do I need to remind you on who has won the award for best ass on the team for two years running?”

“Hey, I voted for Tobio both times,” Kei protested, leaning forward. Tetsurou took the opportunity and shoved him off his lap and onto the ground. Kei cussed as he banged his shin into the coffee table, and stole Hinata’s coffee when the ginger wouldn’t stop snickering.

“Hey!” he protested, nearly knocking over Kise’s soup in his haste to take back his drink from Kei, “Screw you! I paid for that!”

Kei took a long sip. “Like how you were going to pay for those cupcakes at Hayashi-san’s bakery?”

Hinata shrieked inarticulately at that particular statement, and half the group erupted into gleeful shouting. Yachi nearly fell out of her chair laughing. “I PAID FOR THEM WITH _MONEY_ ,” Hinata bellowed, flushing bright red.

“He looks like the orange angry bird,” Terushima choked out between giggles, “you know, the tiny one that blows up like a balloon?”

The entire table roared with laughter, and Hinata crossly swiped his coffee out of Kei’s hand, scowling ferociously. “Shut up, like you were any better,” he complained, “I still remember that time you hooked up with-” Kei shot out of his seat and clapped his hand over Hinata’s mouth, nearly taking out Terushima’s nose with his (Extremely pointy, not that Tetsurou would know. Nope. Definitely not.) elbow in the process.

“Hey, we don’t talk about that,” Kei said, annoyed. Hinata’s smirk was obvious, even under Kei’s hand, which piqued Tetsurou’s interest. Exactly _who_ did Kei hook up with that he was still embarrassed about it?

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Kageyama cut in, placidly scrolling through something on his phone without looking up, “Atsumu-san and Osamu-san were happy to share.”

The entire group, and by extent the entire cafe went silent before dramatically increasing in volume. (60% of which was caused by Terushima alone. Because he takes way too much pride in his sex life.) Kei looked unruffled and vaguely disgusted despite the commotion going on around him, but he couldn’t disguise the pink rising in his cheeks.

“ _Seriously?_ ” Tetsurou said, astonished. He had met the Miya twins before. Granted, he doesn’t know them very well, but Tetsurou’s heard enough about what they get up to that he has a good idea.

Something flickered across Kei’s face, and Tetsurou inwardly winced. _Wrong thing to say._

“I’m kinda impressed,” Tetsurou said hurriedly, nudging Kei with his shoulder, “both of them? At the same time?” In his peripheral vision, Tetsurou can see Kise cringing, and he mentally sends an apology his way. Whoops.

“They’re not _that_ kinky,” Kei allows, relaxing, “but I wouldn’t know as much as Tobio, so why don’t you ask him?”

“ _What?_ ” Takao shrieked, whipping around to face Kageyama so fast that his neck audibly cracked. Kei sniggered, and Kageyama shot a annoyed glare in his direction, to which Kei responded to with a sardonic grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: you should pace your chapters bc you're bad at writing consistently
> 
> also me: post right after you finish writing, we die like men


	4. hoeing around with the boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> time to find out what was the Serious Business they were talking about in chapter 2

“Alright guys, back to what we were originally talking about,” Himuro says loudly over the clamor of teenage boys making a fuss over Tsukishima’s sex life. Not that he was bitter, or anything like that. Nooo, of course not.

“Takao-san, stop being bitter about not getting as much dick as Kei-chan,” Hinata sing-songs, looking at him from his spot on the couch’s armrest.

“Fuck you, I’m not bitter,” Kazunari retorts, “I just don’t want to hear about my best friend’s cousin’s sex life.”

Hinata pauses a beat too long. “Sure.”

Putting his coffee down, Kazunari prepares to give Hinata the verbal throwdown of a lifetime when he’s cut off by the sound of Himuro whistling loud enough to shut up everyone in the cafe. 

“Sorry about that, everyone. Please carry on,” he says, addressing the other occupants of the cafe with a dazzling smile.

“Okay, okay, back to business,” Kuroo says as the noise level returns back to normal, “I still like the sock on the door handle idea. It’s worked fine for years, why change it now?”

“Because  _ someone _ keeps stealing the socks for some fucking reason. I have like 5 half pairs of socks, and I’m not buying more socks whenever I want to have sex.”

“Shut up Terushima, if you’d stop sleeping with someone every other night you wouldn’t have this problem!” Himuro interrupts, thumping his fist on the coffee table.

“Just because  _ your _ virginity is growing back because your giant purple boyfriend doesn’t dick you down as much as you want doesn’t mean the rest of us should suffer for it!” Terushima shoots back, not backing down the slightest.

“Fuck off, you’re just pissy that you couldn’t convince him that we should have a threesome together.”

“Hey! I’ll have you know that I have been in more whatever-number-of-people-somes than you’ve ever even  _ thought _ about, so you can’t even talk. Besides, stop deluding yourself that people actually want to have buttsex with Murasakibara, you’re the only one whose ass is loose enough anyways.”

“You  _ literally just said- _ ”

“Hey! Guys! Off topic again!” Kise says, trying and failing to stop Himuro and Terushima from arguing again.

Kuroo heaves a deep sigh. “Alright, this isn’t going anywhere. I blame this on you, Kei.”

“How is this  _ my _ fault?” Tsukishima rears back, offended, “just because none of you upperclassmen can have a discussion without measuring dick size doesn’t mean that it’s the underclassmen’s fault.”

“Yeah, Kuroo-san, stop bullying the underclassmen,” Kazunari cut in, and promptly stole Kuroo’s drink and took a sip. Ah, so Kuroo’s a green tea kind of man, he observed as Kuroo spluttered. “You’re really an old man, Kuroo-san.”

“Hey! Listen to your upperclassmen then!”

Kazunari exchanges an amused look with Tsukishima. “Nah,” they say at the same time. Kuroo groans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise! it was sex in the dorms

**Author's Note:**

> look so i'm really bad at updates but i'll try to update as often as i can, even tho they'll probably be short. sorry in advance!!!!! 
> 
> pls tell me if you think i'm handling something wrong, and i'll try to correct it!! also, if you have any headcanons or ideas you want me to include, hmu in a comment and i'll consider it!!!! come talk to me!!! i'm a desperate bitch!!!! i will talk about anything and anyone!!!!!


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